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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481166">drop dead</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowrabblerouser/pseuds/rainbowrabblerouser'>rainbowrabblerouser</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dead Man on Campus (1998)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AND YET HERE I AM, Character Study, Dorks in Love, Engagement, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Getting Together, M/M, Marriage, Oaths &amp; Vows, deadass no one watched this movie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:21:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>900</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481166</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowrabblerouser/pseuds/rainbowrabblerouser</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When you're the protagonist of an 80s dark comedy no one watched, you get mistaken for gay.</p><p>But it's fine because maybe you're in love with your roommate and maybe more gay people should give your movie a view.</p><p>Cooper knows he's in love with Josh. And he has been since they nearly got a guy killed to get straight As.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cooper Frederickson/Josh Miller</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>drop dead</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>why dontcha give Dead Man on Campus (1998) a view?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Cooper had never thought he’d be so comfortable with someone before. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>From holding him after nightmares to helping him devise a scheme to cause their roommate to kill himself so they could save their grades, he really, really, really, really, really, really liked Josh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He would admit to his therapist later on that he was relieved when Josh broke up with his girlfriend. She had really just been using him as a depressing muse for her writing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was honestly more fucked up than them thinking of ways to get a guy to blow his damn brains out. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But still, Josh’s plan was genius.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was also quite revealing about how he felt about him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper would catch himself more often than not just looking at his friend and thinking about what it would have been like if they just stuck together after college. He’d run his dad’s tycoon and Josh would be a wonderful therapist.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josh wasn’t really too insightful when it came to feelings. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He would hold him close and give him the occasional celebratory kiss. But he was too stupid with emotions and too booksmart for his own good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At one point, they had moved out and into their own little place off campus.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper still had nightmares and Josh had just solved the problem by just getting them a king-sized bed in the master bedroom that they shared.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, they never denied when their friends gushed about their “beautiful relationship” and they even set a date for their “anniversary” as an excuse to have dinner and receive really gay gifts. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Although, the fancy soaps and French pastries and tickets to Live Aid were a deft touch.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper really liked Josh and he didn’t want to ruin a thing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josh would sleep next to him with his head tucked under his. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it was normal and oddly domestic and something straight out of one of those romantic comedies that he would watch with Josh curled around him under a weighted blanket they had received from his mother. Even she thought they were together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It never bothered them. It was just a universal law.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josh and Cooper are together unless it proved inconvenient. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And it always worked in their favor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite the times, being gay in the 90s was kinda fun for them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>They got invites to more parties and Josh took him out more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He liked that Josh would take his hand as a public display that Cooper was his and no one else’s. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was sweet as hell. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>God, he liked him so much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper’s dad could not give less of a shit if he was gay or whatever. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just make sure he’s a doctor and can stop you from blowing my money.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josh had graduated with his M.D. that year and they had put a payment on their penthouse in San Francisco. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper had decided to just start doing acting and stand-up comedy on the weekends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d test out his material on restless nights in their bed when Josh was tired of talking about his weird patients and he flopped onto him and played with his hair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So what do you call a gay psych major with a doctorate?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your boyfriend?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, marry me already. You know you want to do it...Joshy…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Take me to dinner first and then let me top.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Of course, they had researched the gay lingo. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were college graduates, not animals.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper was well-versed and knew that they are just a couple of twinks taking on the town. Josh laughed at his jokes and kept him sane.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a “fine arrangement” – at least that’s what his father had said when he met him over dinner. Josh had his mother join as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone was just thrilled that they managed to graduate without killing themselves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josh was a “stand-up guy” or whatever old heterosexual white men said as compliments. Cooper would just squeeze his hand and shower him with chaste kisses until his parents gave them money to start a nice life and “adopt a dog” or “go to the Pride” - fun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper loved going to San Fran Pride. It was the best. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At one point, Josh came home wearing the hottest crop top he had ever seen on a person and ridiculous sunglasses. He tossed him a glittery windbreaker and took his hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Elton John was headlining so they had to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a “fine arrangement” – indeed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Their wedding was elaborate because his dad was still rich and well, so were they. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Apparently therapists make a fortune in California.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The registry was ridiculous: Star Wars toasters, horror films on steelbook, throw pillows, new fairy lights, every kitchen appliance in iridescent shine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Half of the wedding guests were Cooper’s weird friends who were “ride or die” for gay people and the other half were Josh’s nerdy psych colleagues. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper had to bite his tongue to stop himself from making suicide puns. He was still doing material and his Netflix special wasn’t doing it for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Josh’s was smart and punctual.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Kiss me, you moron.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He is a stand-up guy. He would be an even more stand-up husband.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Cooper might as well drop dead from how romantic he was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night, they flew to Hawaii and just laughed about their college years over some wine and the new Jurassic World movie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What a “fine arrangement” it was.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>if you like campy dark comedies, watch Re-Animator</p></blockquote></div></div>
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